I’d like to start off and say that this will be one of the most difficult things I’ll ever have to write because it’s for you, my ex. You went from being such a central part of my life back to a stranger, and sometimes I don’t know how to feel about that. I’ve spent hours analyzing what I did wrong and why I couldn’t make you happy. I thought maybe if I put more effort, maybe if I was a bit more understanding, and maybe if I waited just a little longer, we could move past whatever terrible storm we were going through and we could be happy again.
But we couldn’t...
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| Photo: Laura Isabella |
For months I’ve been so bitter, so frustrated, and so hurt that someone I trusted could hurt me the way you did.
For all of that, strangely, I thank you.
For all of that, strangely, I thank you.
Thank you for hurting me the way that you did, because it showed me that I have all these wonderful friends and family that love and care for me.
Thank you for hurting me the way that you did, because it allowed me to be able to write this and take the first step to forgive you and move on.
Through you breaking my heart because it has enabled me to slowly realize and believe that I am a wonderful and beautiful person. It has allowed me to know that I am capable of being on my own, that I should create and be my own happiness, and that you were right about all those amazing qualities you said I have.
Thank you for the time we had together. At the moment, I was able to give and receive affection, have good times, and laugh at the smallest. I can’t tell you how happy I am to have memories that I can look back on and smile about. Our relationship isn't something I regret, in fact, it taught me a lot about myself. The days we spent together were some of the happiest and best days of my life. I hope you know that.
In the end, you were not a mistake. You were a lesson well learned, and I am so thankful that I learned, even if it took a little bit of heartbreak to get me there.
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| Artwork: Cris Valencia |
Life itself is a learning process. We make mistakes, we learn. I learned from you. I learned the hard way, but I learned. And, never again will I blame myself for the way you treated me. I know now that it had nothing to do with me, and everything to do with you. Because once upon a time, someone you loved hurt you. And, I can’t blame you for that.
I have some good memories with you and I choose to remember you that way, just like I chose to forgive you. I’ve found that yes, the good times do outweigh the bad, but forgiveness outweighs pain – and I no longer feel a thing.
To you, thank you for everything. Indeed, God is still faithful in our lives. I do believe that everything happens for a reason "may ara pa great plan si Lord saton dalawa." God bless you always. I hope u realize that you deserve nothing but the best in this life.
Lovelots,
April
April
