“Are they grateful for having me in their lives?”
“Am I a good person?”
"What is the real reason behind my existence?"
“Was I brought into this world just to traverse the thorny sides of life?”
My mind says, “Perhaps”.
If you are on the stage where judgments and expectations are evident, you only have two options: to face them and prove them wrong or to distance yourself from people and rebuild yourself. Nevertheless, neither of these two is a short and painless process. There will never be a shortcut nor a time machine where you can fast forward everything. Whichever process you are going to choose, always bear in mind that there will be a result; the new you which you are going to embrace and be proud of.
The young generation or what the society usually calls as “millenials” are those which are greatly affected by this kind of society. I, as being part of this age bracket, can really say that due to the fast-evolving technology and its availability, we are becoming timid and most of us greatly depend on those technologies; disregarding the other values in life which make us weaker individuals than those who have experienced difficulty in life in the past decades.
As a result, challenges are considered by some as hints to give up on their dreams, stop on aiming high, and unfortunately, as reasons to e nd their lives. They find it as a resort to escape from the pressure that they’ve been feeling, from the disappointment which haunts them every single minute of their lives, from the hurtful experiences that they are going through and from just seeing themselves as nothing but a piece of trash. They chose to take the second option yet ended up in the wrong way.
To those who are brave, they will surely pick the first option. They will strive hard to achieve the better versions of themselves and let those who judged them witness on how they worked hard for it. However, the second option cannot be considered as the “wrong choice”.
People are all different. You cannot compare an orange to an apple, a doctor to an engineer, a cat to a dog, simply because each of them has their own characteristics and value which makes them different from others and unique. So, when others chose to be alone, then let them be. It’s not all of the time that having a company can mend what a person is going through. When a person feels suffocated and enraged with life, then let he or she discover what could make him/her happy. Sometimes, distancing yourself from people can be a good thing. There is gain from doing it. Distancing yourself can sometimes be a sign of transformation.
Here’s why:
1. It’s a way of discovering one’s self. Don’t listen to people when they say that being alone is a melancholic thing. Actually, it helps people to find out who they really are; what are their interests, their attitudes, personality, strengths and weaknesses and how to find a way to surf with the unpredictable waves of life by using all that a person has to overcome it.
2. It can heal the wounds that life has brought into a person. Challenges are inevitable. We can never avoid or run away from it. And as we face it, there may absolutely be varied outcomes. It could be painful or happy. Nevertheless, being alone can also mend the broken pieces of your soul. You will have enough time to make realizations that could help you gain self-confidence, find acceptance in your heart and move forward towards finding your own happiness. And as time goes by, the wounds were prevented from being scars, and just faded away.
3. People who love you will stay, those who aren’t will leave. It is during these times that a person needs someone who will listen and understand his/her decisions and feelings. Lucky are those who have already found someone who’s going to stick to them through thick and thin. And it is the time which reveals who are true to you and who are not. Be mindful of the signs. You don’t need to be there for someone who is only there during your best and suddenly leaves when you’re at your worst. Stay true to yourself, and those who stay are the people you should treasure. Some might be having doubts at first, but if they stayed and remained on your side, then it’s something you should consider. Having a shoulder to cry on is priceless.
4. You can rebuild and strengthen your relationship with God. Take this as an opportunity to also build strong ties with God. Having a strong faith on our Creator will be one of your mightiest armors towards battling with life. It will not only make you braver but also make you complete as a person for you will be contented with the love coming from God. You will have a brighter perception of everything for you and God is working as one.
5. Realizations could point you to the thing which your heart loves the most. As you made your decision to be alone, one of your biggest gains is having realizations. These realizations can be good or bad. Hence, take it all as lessons that will guide you towards the thing which your heart desires the most. Through that, happiness will always be on your side and everything else will follow.
Hiding yourself from people isn’t always a bad thing. As long as your goal is to improve yourself and be a better person, then taking the road less traveled will all be worth it. Be dauntless, embrace every part of you, grab every flicker of hope that you have and the huge transformation that you’ve always wanted will come to you naturally.
-Eriel Gabriel
